“Waiver Wire”

Well I might be cheap (no he ain't that cheap),
or I might be dumb (no he's no way dumb).
But there's no other boy, who hits those home runs, (like him there's none).
Better look near and far (that's really not far),
or see far and wide (no not that wide).
You'll never find a guy, who steals head first and slides, (holy moly, my my).

Across the fifty states, (drivin' back road plates),
Sing in them all (push pull hard ball).
I like to talk game night and day, about playin' ball, (I collect them all).
Then I shag pop fly's (peer way up high),
bounce infield grounds, (bad hops come down).
I go a peepin' for my jock, in the lost and found, (that smells I frown).
 
Oh Wait...

Just Off the Waiver Wire, I See My Name.
I Can't Complain, (whiners drink champagne)
I'm Clinically Insane, (has a way gone brain)
I Wanna Play With Fire, 'Cuz I Know My Game.
Better Fill Your Tank, (and the little piggy bank)
or Claim My Claim. (insure then pay)

Now Wait...

Well I told you so (I'm a witness yo),
and I tried to warn (verdict is born).
But all I know you never heard, 'til I blast my horn. (judge, jury is torn).
Fly'in' high and low (atmospheric glow),
Slow flies get whacked (by electric zap).
I honestly am the deal I ain't no fading fad. (own wonders all that).

Soar up to the moon (all the way real soon),
take your photo shop (just click don't stop).
You can develop pics, but make sure they're all cropped. (take out what's hot).
End the warning track (better have my back),
Run a suicide race (haul ass first place).
I know I look good on this town, got a handsome face. (tattoos sleeved traced).

Now Wait...

Just Off the Waiver Wire, I See My Name.
I Joined the Parade, (march major hooray)
Diagnosed to Shame, (poppin' flies for pain)
I Wanna Play With Fire, 'Cuz I Know My Game.
Retirement Fame, (halls grace my brain)
Insane's My Drain, (flushin' down hurricane)

Errol Wait...

Solo:

Ok I need a chance (what a new romance?),
just some pocket change (he's finally sane).
I promise I'll hit you long home runs, during the biggest games. (advance him Jane).
Oh I need more then that (you hadn't at bat),
I got to survive (you barely arrived).
I'll be your savior when your team, needs to be revived. (resuscitate don't die).

High wire the whole world, (search boys and girls),
use a mega star scope, (zooms in looks dope).
You wouldn't believe my habits, I train locomotive we cope. (no locker room soap).
I twirl and turn two (see me look real good),
long toss and lift weights (ball family traits).
My ancestors estates left me, with no choice debate. (just for family's sake)

We Wait...

Just Off the Waiver Wire, I See My Name.
I Jokingly Berate, (tears well test faith)
Treated By a Quack Flake, (scammed money on take)
I Wanna Play With Fire, 'Cuz I Know My Game.
Add the Number One Rate, (are you really that great)
Better Watch That Tape, (we're blind no thanks)

Music and Lyrics, 2017: Peter J. Beauchemin