“Snooty Call”

I've got three little groupies cooped up in my house.
The one and only problem is they never put out.
I can serenade them songs of unconditional love.
And they'll hold onto their panties sassing,
“Look the Lord's Above!”

My songs can get them grooving dancing shaking their ass.
But when we're home alone they excuse, “You're Crass!”
So I concocted a slight and pondered if it would work.
Then opined, “It's time for Laundry so Take Off All Y'alls Shirts!”

It's My Snooty Call.
Not Like a Booty Mall.
The Difference Is When I Fall.
After I Make My Snooty Call.
I Get Some Bluey Balls.
'Cuz Rememberin' Is When I Stall.
'Cuz My Snooty Call.
It's That Bad Y'all.

I've got nine hundred dollars of rent due the first.
But I pay it on the third and seduce to quench my thirst.
By playing my guitar creating name melodies.
But they shut me down quick saying,
“God Is All We Need!”

The playing games never stop tied fingers on strings.
Like a yo-yo in their pocket kneeling down wedding rings.
So I mustered up some courage visualized a straight path.
Then proclaimed,
“I've Got Dinner But Let's All Get In the Bath!”

It's My Snooty Call.
Not Like a Booty Mall.
The Difference Is When I Fall.
After I Make My Snooty Call.
I Get Some Bluey Balls.
'Cuz Rememberin' Is When I Stall.
'Cuz My Snooty Call.
It's That Bad Y'all.

Listen, y'all wanna live in my house,
and drink all of my beer.
While snacking on my hors d'oeuvres,
listen up, “DEARS.”

I've got one night of slack loosened up just encase.
You come around and treat me,
like the man my mamma raised.
'Cuz if you all decide that tonight's not the night.
You're all, “Kicked to the Curb with No “D”, That's Right!”

I've been working on my stamina pulling ups all night.
Thrusting and a cussing chest pumping done right.
My fitness is as good as I donned in my prime.
To work this chiseled body, “It's Y'all Three at One Time!”

Mind My Snooty Call.
Give Me That Booty Mall.
This Rhyme Was Rhymed for Y'all.
Please Mind My Snooty Call.
And Cure My Bluey Balls.
'Cuz My Timin' Is Right for All.
'Cuz My Snooty Call.
It's Not That Bad Y'all.

Music and Lyrics, 2018: Peter J. Beauchemin