“Serious Contender”

My name's not relevant today,
and my buddy asked, (was it okay?).
He made a point, that his ain't either by a long shot,
plus a lap, (and a half?).

We both have phones no important calls,
just viewin' texts sayin', (we're at the mall).
But we're nice and warn the comin' dance,
at your local shack, (dragged pea patch?).

A viral storms a brewin', (Harvey wide),
and don't you be misconstruin', (this chime).
Be ready, be alert, it's not all red dirt, (it rhymes),
mixin' it up at closin' time.

We're Serving Country Notice Tonight,
With a Side of Sweet Humble Pie.
There Ain't a Star Tourin' Date,
We're Worried Tryin' to Remember.
(you better get limber).
'Cuz We're the Only Band In Here Plugged,
Wifin' Waitresses Servin' You All Buds.
Don't Listen Now You've Been Served Notice,
from a Serious Contender.
(now don't you go and timber).

I don't wanna bore you so listen up,
my buddy asked me, (where's a dancin' club?).
I said where we're playin' tonight,
and the party after, (at my pad?). Oh hell yea.

So now we want to know where you live,
let me get those driveway digits, (555 I'm alive).
Now plan on seeing us all callin',
the linin' dance, prance, (no fadin' fad?), like a buddin' romance.

Here come the cyclones a spinin', (take shelter).
This ain't trainin' no beginnin', (human nature).
Be loaded, be assured, (help spread the word),
it's our future, (gain up in stature).
Oh go and tweet your bird,
we're joinin' in, and gettin' gritty showin'.

We're Serving Country Notice Tonight,
With a Side of Sweet Humble Pie.
There Ain't a Star Tourin' Date,
We're Worried Tryin' to Remember.
(return to the sender).
'Cuz We're the Only Band In Here Plugged,
Wifin' Waitresses Servin' You All Buds.
Don't Listen Now You've Been Served Notice,
from a Serious Contender.
(I'm playin' all your fenders).

Now, I might have stirred up something,
I can't handle,
or maybe this just might be too big for me?
I'm actually gonna leave it up for you,
to decide tonight.
Am I really a Serious Contender?

How about I do something right now,
to enhance the image you have of me?
Here, let me get up on top, of this speaker cabinet,
so you can really see me getting' down.
Come on everyone,  get up on your feet and dance with me?

We're Serving Country Notice Tonight,
With a Side of Sweet Humble Pie.
There Ain't a Star Tourin' Date,
We're Worried Tryin' to Remember.
(their just pretenders).
'Cuz We're the Only Band In Here Plugged,
Wifin' Waitresses Servin' You All Buds.
Don't Listen Now You've Been Served Notice,
from a Serious Contender.
(contact your lenders).
Don't Look Down You've Been Served Notice,
from a Serious Contender.
(he's puttin' out them cinders).
I Don't Know How,
You've Been Served Notice,
from a Serious Contender.
(we love our members).

Music and Lyrics, 2017: Peter J. Beauchemin